How to Deal with Grief and Seek Bereavement Support

Grief touches every one of us at some point, yet it remains one of life’s most personal and complex experiences. Each person’s journey is unique, shaped by the relationship they’ve lost, their circumstances and the way they process pain.

Dr Bill Webster, grief counsellor and founder of The Centre for the Grief Journey, explains it as “a protest against something the bereaved didn’t want, don’t like, but sadly can’t change”.

It isn’t something to ‘get over’. It unfolds in its own time, often bringing waves of emotion that can be unpredictable – sadness, anger, numbness, guilt or even relief – and physical effects such as exhaustion or difficulty sleeping. There’s no right or wrong way to grieve, only your way.

To help explore how to deal with grief, bereavement counsellor Justine Dickinson from the Rowland Brothers Foundation shares her professional insights throughout this guide, offering compassionate, practical advice on coping with loss and finding support when you need it most.

What Grief Feels Like: Emotional and Physical Reactions

In the first days and weeks when a loved one dies, grief can feel overwhelming and disorienting. Many people describe it as a blur – a period where reality hasn’t quite sunk in. Shock and disbelief are common grief symptoms, and even when you know someone has died, it can feel impossible to truly accept it.

As bereavement counsellor Justine explains: “In the first few weeks, most people feel shock and disbelief – you can find yourself questioning whether it’s really happened. Emotions swing from numbness to waves of crying, guilt or anger.”

These emotions can shift rapidly and unexpectedly. One moment you may feel completely numb, and the next you’re overcome with tears or frustration. Others appear calm and ‘functional’, keeping busy as a way of coping, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t grieving.

Grief also affects the body. It’s common to experience fatigue, appetite changes, difficulty concentrating or disturbed sleep. Your body and mind are working hard to adapt to a new reality, and it’s normal to feel drained or unsettled.

Remember that grief rarely follows a straight line. It often comes in waves that can be triggered by memories, smells, places or even songs. These fluctuations don’t mean you’re ‘going backwards’; they’re simply part of the natural rhythm of healing.

How Long Does Grief Last? Are There Grief Stages?

One of the most common misconceptions about grief is that it should have an endpoint. But grief doesn’t work to a timetable. The idea of moving on within a set period often adds pressure to those who are simply learning to live day by day with their loss.

Justine explains: “A common myth is that once you’ve passed the first anniversaries, you’re ‘over it’. You don’t get over someone – you learn to live with the loss.”

For many people, the second year can feel harder in some ways. The initial shock has faded, the practical tasks have been handled, and friends may have returned to their own routines, yet the absence is now more deeply felt. This quieter, more reflective stage can bring new layers of sadness or meaning as you adjust to life without your loved one.

Dr Webster reinforces that true support takes time and patience: “Good grief support is usually a long-term commitment.”

Grief doesn’t disappear; it evolves. Over time, the pain may soften, becoming something you carry rather than something that overwhelms you. Healing often means finding ways to remember, honour and live alongside your loss, not trying to ease it.

Healthy Ways to Cope with the Grief Process

When you’re in the midst of loss, it can be hard to know how to move forward or even where to begin. The answer to how to deal with grief often lies not in ‘fixing’ the pain, but in finding gentle, healthy ways to live alongside it.

Everyone grieves differently. Some find comfort in being surrounded by others, while some prefer quiet reflection. Justine recommends communication: “Talk to family, friends or a group and keep the person close in ways that feel right. Organise photos, share stories or create small rituals. Some people cope by ‘doing’, others by feeling and reflecting. There’s no wrong way.”

Grief often feels chaotic because it touches every part of your life – emotional, physical and practical. Routine can help restore a sense of balance. Simple actions like eating regularly, walking outdoors or journaling can anchor you when emotions feel unpredictable.

Dr Webster echoes the healing power of expression: “Grieving people need to talk…it helps them begin to make sense of something that at that moment makes no sense.”

Some practical ideas for coping include:

• Writing or journaling: putting emotions into words can bring clarity and release.
• Creating a memory box: filled with photos, letters or keepsakes that celebrate your loved one’s life.
• Walking in nature: can calm the mind and offer quiet space for reflection.
• Mindfulness or breathing exercises: ease anxiety and reconnect with the present moment.
• Small rituals: such as lighting a candle or playing their favourite song to honour their memory.

Grief is a long process, but these small steps help you begin to find your footing again. Over time, moments of peace and meaning start to return, reminding you that while grief changes, love endures.

How to Cope with Bereavement

Grief is emotionally and physically draining, so one of the most important things you can do is take care of yourself. In the same way you would rest and recover after an illness or injury, grief requires time, nourishment and gentleness.

Try to build simple, steady habits into your days: eat regular meals, drink water and allow yourself proper rest. Fatigue and forgetfulness are common after a loss – your body is processing a huge emotional shock. Keeping a loose routine can offer a small sense of stability when everything else feels uncertain.

It’s also vital to set boundaries. You might not always have the energy to socialise or answer calls, and that’s okay. Permit yourself to step back when you need to. Grief doesn’t follow a schedule – some days you may want company, others you might just need quiet.

Tears, anger and even laughter are all natural parts of healing. Allowing yourself to feel them is not a sign of weakness; it’s an expression of love for the person you’ve lost. Grief is, in many ways, love with nowhere to go. When you care for yourself gently and without guilt, you give that love a place to rest and, in time, a way to keep moving forward.

How to Deal with the Grief of Losing a Parent

When grief involves losing a parent, it’s important to recognise that this type of loss often runs deeper than we expect. Whether the relationship was close, complicated or somewhere in between, the death of a parent can shake us. Even as adults, losing a parent can be disorienting. The person who was once your anchor, your history or your home is suddenly gone, and the world can feel unfamiliar without them in it.

In Lost for Words, Dr Webster says: “A bereavement often challenges our long-held assumptions about ‘Who I am’, and can initiate a fundamental loss of identity.”

This change in identity can be especially strong after the loss of a mother or father. You may find yourself stepping into new roles, such as caring for the surviving parent, becoming the family’s organiser or carrying on certain traditions. Everyday moments, like hearing their favourite song or reaching for the phone to tell them news, can bring waves of fresh grief.

Creating personal rituals can help keep your connection alive in comforting ways. These small acts of remembrance allow you to honour your parent’s influence while gradually learning how to live with their absence. Though the pain of losing a parent may never disappear, love continues to shape who you are and that bond remains part of you.

How to Find Grief Support Groups and Bereavement Care

When you’re struggling to cope, seeking support can be one of the most healing steps you take. In the early months after a loss, emotions can be raw and unpredictable. For some, talking with family and friends may be enough. But if grief starts to feel unmanageable, or if you’re finding it difficult to cope day by day, it may be time to reach for professional or community support.

Justine explains: “If things feel unmanageable after the first months, look into bereavement groups or counselling; many services begin around the six-month mark because the early period is a flurry of emotions and administration.”

Grief and bereavement therapy provides a safe, confidential space to explore your feelings, gain perspective and rebuild coping strategies. Trained counsellors can help you process complex emotions such as guilt, anger or unresolved questions about your loss.

Equally valuable are grief support groups, where you can connect with others who truly understand what you’re going through. Hearing someone else put your feelings into words can bring comfort and remind you that you’re not alone.

To find help near you, you might:

• Contact the Rowland Brothers Foundation, which offers free and confidential bereavement support.
• Reach out to national organisations such as Cruse Bereavement Support or The Good Grief Trust.
• Ask your GP or local community centre about grief support groups in your area.
• Explore online or virtual grief communities if in-person meetings feel difficult at first.

Whether through counselling, a support group or a trusted friend, remember, talking about your grief is not a sign of weakness, it’s an act of courage and self-care.

Growing Through Grief

Grief is not something to ‘fix’, it’s something to live through. The journey may feel uncertain, but with time, support and self-compassion, it becomes possible to carry your loss with gentleness rather than pain. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting; it means remembering with love instead of despair.

If you’re struggling, reach out to family, friends, counsellors or grief support groups. Sharing your story and staying connected to others can make the road ahead a little lighter. And remember, the love you feel is proof of the life and bond you shared. That connection doesn’t end; it simply changes shape.

At Golden Leaves, we believe in helping families find peace of mind through thoughtful preparation. Our prepaid funeral plans are designed to relieve emotional and financial burdens in the future, allowing loved ones to focus on what truly matters – caring for each other and finding healing in their own time.

Grief changes us, but it can also deepen our empathy, gratitude and love. With the right support and preparation, even in loss, there can be growth and a renewed sense of peace.